Tuesday, May 14, 2013

My Deepest Darkest Fear

Everything anyone says or does is a result of some underlying psychological reason.

What if the reason I write these ridiculous blog posts is because I'm afraid of facing the truth: that I actually enjoy accounting.

What if accounting's trade-off of medium hours and moderate career risk is actually just right for me. What if I made the right decision in college and pursued accounting because I find it interesting, challenging and dynamic? What if I am where I'm supposed to be? Can I accept myself as an accountant, or do I need to feed my ego with a 'front office' job title somewhere? 

The shittiest parts of auditing are: (1) dealing with 'bosses' who are 25-30 years old who were promoted based on seniority, (2) doing tedious bitch work for seemingly no purpose, (3) working long hours for the sake of face-time,(4) mind numbing and tedious checklists, (5) .  All of these shitty parts are not applicable to a job in industry where you can manage the accounting for an actual firm, make decisions and have input into the business operations of the firm. 

Stepping out on the 'career risk curve' a little bit and looking at assistant controller spots at smaller hedge funds might actually be what I need right now.  Equity research sounds intriguing and fascinating, but really, what I hate the most about my job is the tedious detail work.  Equity research is 100% detail work. Equity research gives you no operational experience  Accounting puts you in the trenches, at the office, managing the business day to day.  

I want to manage high level.  Manage a process, build a team, provide strategic input, and be involved in the operations. Maybe I am on the career path I want. I used to be so excited about starting this job, and then they slam you with two years of staff work. Now that the staff work is over, I can start focusing on the parts of the job I actually enjoy. Maybe? 

I'm thinking I might interview for some hedge fund assistant controller spots. See what's out there.

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